Light on a Dark Day

Tuesday night was one of the hardest things I have been a part of in a long time.  Dan and I took some of our high school students to a funeral home in Massillon to pay our respects to an 18-month old beautiful little girl.  Her dad had been an adult leader in our ministry in the past.  He influenced many of our students in big ways.  His little girl died tragically last week in her own home.  It is just one of those “This is not right” moments.  It just shouldn’t happen in life.  There are no answers for it.  It leaves you with a thousand questions for God.  Your heart aches in indescribable ways for the mother and father.

I was so proud of our students who went.  They were so awesome.  Seeing them kneel and pray in front of the tiny casket was mind-blowing.  They just hugged the parents and expressed how sorry they were.  They were so mature during the whole time.  I could tell that it meant so much to the father that they were there.  These students simply obeyed Jesus when he said “mourn with those who mourn.”  Those are not easy times, but they walked right into it and they loved so well.  There doesn’t seem to be much light on dark days like that, but on this day, I saw a handful of students be light on a dark day.

5 Faces of Grace

Last weekend I went to the Passion Conference (www.268generation.com) in Washington D.C.   I was without my family, but only without their physical presence. They were definitely on my mind and in my heart.

I knew God would speak to me during the weekend, I just knew it.

During a time of singing near the end of the day God explained to me where he has placed grace in my life. I am fully aware that I am unaware how big his grace is. I am fully aware that I do not understand how much sin he has had to cover in my life. Grace is something that I have struggled to get my head around my whole life…I mean the depth of it. I best understand grace as God giving me something I do not deserve and mercy as God not giving me what I do. But last night he showed me a new face to grace (actually 5 new faces to grace). God showing me this led to a time of weeping, it evens wells up in me now as I type. But this was a joyous sob.

So here’s what Grace looks like:

Daughter 1: God told me, “You get to be her father! You are so lucky.” She is so amazing. Something that just makes me cry tears of great joy and pride about her is that she has befriended the friendless at her school. She doesn’t understand yet how big of a deal that is. As I sat last night covered in tears I saw how much she resembles Jesus. I am so proud of her. I love her. And I get to be her dad…SO TAKE THAT WORLD! She is my daughter! That’s God grace. I sure don’t deserve to have such an amazing daughter, but I do.

Son 1: One again the voice of God said, “You get to be his father! You are so lucky.” He is such an awesome kid. He is full of passion (mostly for sports right now just like me when I was 8 yrs. old). He is animated. He is funny. He is an amazing kid for sure. I am pretty hard on him sometimes. I don’t want to be a dad that in anyway messes up his amazing spirit. Tonight, I got to the bottom of why I am tough on him sometimes….it’s because I want him to be so passionate for God. I want him to be a brave warrior for Jesus. I want him to be a leader that carries the same kind of passion, animation and humor that he carries now. So sometimes I overreact to his mess-ups because I see them as obstacles to the great kid that I know he is. He is an awesome boy and I want to be an encourager to him. I love him. And I get to be his dad…SO TAKE THAT WORLD! He is my son! That’s God grace. I sure don’t deserve to have such an amazing son, but I do.

Daughter 2: “Smiley”. That’s enough said really. She is just one big smile and I love her! Her smile makes my day when I see it, it brightens my day. It is like sunshine to me. I pray that the paths that she chooses in life always make that smile bigger and never take it away. I love her. And I get to be her dad…SO TAKE THAT WORLD! She is my daughter! That’s God grace. I sure don’t deserve to have such an amazing daughter, but I do.

Daughter 3: Ally is so beautiful (All my kids are really beautiful kids…they get it all from their mother). She is the little girl who has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger. When I look at her, I just smile. When I see her I see God’s beauty. I pray that as she grows, her inward beauty makes her outward beauty look small. I pray that she would have a beautiful heart for Jesus. I love her. And I get to be her dad…SO TAKE THAT WORLD! She is my daughter! That’s God grace. I sure don’t deserve to have such an amazing daughter, but I do.

Susan: I have always seen Susan as a picture of God’s grace in my life. She is an amazing wife. God showed me last night that Susan loves the Brad that God has created. She loves me, the me that God has redeemed and purposed for this world. She has looked past all of the “dead Brad” that God has done away with. Without Susan I am not Brad. She is part of me. She is within me like the blood in my veins, she is one with me in life. I couldn’t be any luckier, any more thankful. I love her. And I get to be her husband…SO TAKE THAT WORLD…SORRY GUYS, I GOT THE #1! She is my wife! I can’t believe it! That’s God grace. I sure don’t deserve to have such an amazing wife, but I do.

God…Thank you for your grace! Thank you for 5 faces of grace that change my life.

Wow, look at that back there…or DON’T!

Today I look back on 33 years of life that I’ll never get back…uhhh that will make you start thinking. Think about that, 33 years! That’s a long time man. Imagine how many choices have been mad in those 33 years. Imagine how many risks have been taken in those 33 years. Imagine how many conversations have taken place in that 33 years.

How many times have I acted selfish in the last 33 years? How many times have decided to think of someone else besides myself. Do I have a track record of thinking of myself more than others over the last 33 years…probably (I’m being kind to myself)…DEFINITELY. What would have changed if I would have served others more often than myself? How would it have changed my life and others if I chose kind words instead of when I chose harsh words?

A friend of mine told me that during his prayer time the other day, I was on his mind. He said God revealed to him that my best days are ahead and that I haven’t even scratched the surface with how God wants to use me. When people encourage you with things like that it impacts your soul. When he told me that, you know what I started thinking about? The future! And as I sit here now I am beginning to remind myself of the reason I love the future. I love the future because I still have an opportunity to choose how I will treat others, how I will speak to others, how I will love others, how I will lead others. I still have time to make some changes. When you look backward, into the past, no changes can be made…what’s done is done. All you can do is adjust, learn or choose differently for the future.

Prayer: So what do you got for me today God? Help me to choose my attitude, my actions, my words wisely today because I want today to count!

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